- The housing crisis is a perilous and dank maze of submerged interlocking caverns called things like Supply, Demand, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics, Population Fluctuation, Historic Tax Policy and The Pitfalls Of Modern Federalism. To get anywhere at all, the serious housing policy spelunker requires industrial-strength headlamps, 9,000 metres of sturdy cable, nerves of steel and that lovely doctor from South Australia who got the Thai kids out.
There is much quality research and reporting of these factors. But who would bother, now that a bumper sticker — "Your Kids Are Dropping Off A Housing Cliff, PM's Just Bought A Palace On One" — is so readily available? The house is so dramatically nice (the sparkling ocean! The glass walls! The cathedral ceilings! Views from the bath!) that this story — already a simple one to tell — comes with an unforgettable metaphor about life elevated above the concerns of everyday Australians. Like most campaign bumper stickers, its power derives from the simplicity of the slogan.
- Opposition Leader Peter Dutton on Tuesday primly declined to comment on the PM's real estate venture. Obviously, this is very substantially because Mr Dutton has only just offloaded a kajillion-dollar Brisbane penthouse whose bath views rival those of the retirement home that's just been purchased by the man Mr Dutton hopes to send into retirement at his earliest convenience. But Mr Dutton really doesn't have to say anything.
On this occasion, he can let his colleagues carry on about how "out of touch" the "battler's PM" has become, drawing for breath only to tap in their mortal enemies The Greens, who couldn't possibly have designed a clearer shot at goal. The Coalition isn't too bothered about renters but loves an opportunity to push at the already-ajar door of the perception that the PM is out of touch. The Greens, already established as the spokes-party for renters, cannot believe that the clearest reinforcement of their claim that Anthony Albanese has defected to the landlord classes has come from the man himself.
- A house is fine. An expensive house is fine. A waterfront house is possibly also okay. But for any political leader of whom there exists Pacific Islands Forum dance footage involving a) a tropical shirt b) a flower garland and c) hip gyration of any kind, the purchase of a home in a beach town called Copacabana should just be flat-out banned.
One assumes that the clean-up job around this development will involve a grim-faced staffer from the PMO flying nonstop to Palm Springs to intervene personally with Barry Manilow in an attempt to stitch up the rights to his 1978 hit, given the nightmarish ease with which it could be re-engineered into a campaign jingle, viz:
His name was Albo, he was a battler
Grew up with public housing blues
Now he's gone for ocean views
Maybe he'll rent it, and do the cha-cha
Look it won't be all that weird
If it's negatively geared
(chorus: Aaaat the Copa… Copacabana
Take it up with my financial planner)
- Buying a fancy house when you already have two taxpayer-funded ones to live in plus a fully paid-off investment property, just before an election, in the hot flush of a genuine housing crisis, is kind of bold. Of course, Mr Albanese did not control the precise timing of the news breaking. But for it to break – thanks to Sydney radio presenter Ben Fordham of 2GB – on the day the PM was due to make a housing announcement, in the electorally dicey state of Queensland… OUCH.